I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
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He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
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and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
BRING THE BAGELS
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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