I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
