you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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