i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
