it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
