i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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