Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Small penises have feelings too.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
