Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
