I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
wanna go halves on a baby?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
