just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Are we still banned from the library?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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