I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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