so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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