dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
