There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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