you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
