He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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