physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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