I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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