if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize