The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
