Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
hell yes lets make some ravioli
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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