Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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