the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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