Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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