Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
