when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
