we're blogging at a bar
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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