i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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