Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
