Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
