you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
