I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
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I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
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I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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