just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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