Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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