Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
They have beer where we have blood.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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