no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Also, beer. Big fan.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
