just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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