East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
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