My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
