You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
