you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
