I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
