Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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