On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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