Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
