Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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