sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I need a beard to bite.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
