Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
