Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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