NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
