we have pet lesbian snakes
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
