I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
God I need to hump something, right now.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
