Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
