quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
