Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
