wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
