Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
