I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
